Acceptance

Acceptance (noun)

1.

the act of taking or receiving something offered.

2.

favorable reception; approval; favor.

3.

the act of assenting or believing:

acceptance of a theory.

4.

the fact or state of being accepted or acceptable.

I was in charge of a large event this past week; the preparation for it was very stressful. The event went wonderfully, but when it was time to bring it to conclusion, as I was closing the event, I gave some very incorrect information to the 400+ people in attendance, by mistake.

A few moments after the event had ended, a group of attendees came to me and questioned the validity of the information shared in the closing; they demanded that I reconsider what I had said...

As I ran through the events of the evening in my mind, I realized that everything did not add up to my statements in the closing of the event.  I began to panic and re-think my conclusions.

By the time that I was certain I had given incorrect information to the group, there were only about 10 attendees still in the building.  I began to cry.  I felt a deep desire to right my wrong, right there, in that very moment.  I wanted to apologize and re-announce correct information immediately, but that was not possible. As I approached the small group of the few people remaining, I could not stop crying.  And as I admitted my mistake to them, and asked for their understanding and forgiveness, the tears kept flowing...

I felt so very defeated; but not by the innocent mistake that I had made in giving out incorrect information, but rather, deeply discouraged by the down-turned faces of the attendees, showing that they were disappointed in me.  I could feel in their voices, the distrust of my words, and I could feel from their looks, the disappointment in me, stemming from my mistake.

I left the event, still in tears. And as I drove home, I began to wonder....Why was I such a wreak about this?  Why couldn't I stop crying? 

Well, there is the fact that I was overtired and overworked from having planned and put on the event, and that certainly can bring on emotions....  But, that wasn't all.... in my thinking and evaluation of the evening, a deep deep desire to be accepted by others was brought to the surface.  By the time I arrived home, I was in awe of the depth of my need to be accepted! I kept thinking, WHY do I feel such a huge need, that other human beings fill?  I cannot control other people, and no matter how hard I try (and I try SO HARD, most of the time), I rationalized.... I cannot make others accept me! 

I stayed up through most of that night, physically exhausted, but mentally ALIVE with this revelation. I wrote down all of my thoughts as I processed this; present and past, and the ways that I strive for acceptance of others, in all that I do.  The last thing that I did before falling asleep, was type out a public apology about that evenings mistake, correcting it.  Then I finally cried myself to sleep. 

The next morning, it was so hard to get out of bed.  I had to return to that place, and face those same people, that were disappointed in me, and fix my mistake. I envisioned arriving to an angry group of dissatisfied people, waiting to give me a piece of their mind.  But, I had to go back, and forced myself to do so. 

As I wearily drove back to that place, God blessed me with the new song, playing on the radio: 

"You Are Loved" by Stars Go Dim

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z7enf9JVjKI

God spoke directly to my heart, through the words of this song..."You don't have to prove yourself!"
"Don't Try to be someone else!" 

Over and over God reminded me, through this song, just how loved and accepted I am by Him! 
And that acceptance is everlasting, all loving, and stronger than any human acceptance that I can obtain! 

As I arrived at my destination, with tears of joy in my eyes, I felt confident that the day ahead would be OK, and that if I needed encouragement, I would simply Look up, and Know that I am Loved! 

Whenever you need to be reminded, just look up, and know You Are Loved! 

Waiting.......to Minister.......

Seasons of waiting..... They are difficult to go through!  We all have different seasons of waiting, both in our personal lives and in our professional lives.

Right now, I am in a season of waiting that encompasses both.......
My very personal passion for sharing my life story and my faith journey with others, and the desire to build a ministry far reaching enough to be a consistent business.

I feel a deep desire, every day, to grow this ministry that I am called to do; but roadblocks keep arising, and efforts to promote my ministry go unanswered....

Over the last couple of weeks, as I've been spending time doing promotional things for my ministry, I have been continually noticing things on Twitter, Devotionals, Facebook, and more, that are all prompting me to "Make sure that I minister right where I am at, First!" 

Thankfully, the re-occurrence of that message, over and over, has caused me to pause, and evaluate why I am being bombarded with it..... 

I had begun putting a bit too much emphasis on the "reach" of my ministry materials (Facebook posts, Blog posts, website, etc.), and lost sight of the people directly within my reach, that I should minister to every single day! 

I love sharing my passion for Christ and for music with my children!  There is no better moment spent than reading devotions with my kids, or answering Biblical/Life questions of theirs, or planning church music, or rehearsing instruments with THEM! 

My children's Faith is blossoming more and more each day; as are their musical abilities!  I am so proud of them, every single day, and I want to continue setting a solid, positive, example for them!

Therefore, what I have learned so far, in this season of waiting, is that I don't have to wait at all to share my stories and my heart.  My loved ones and the other people around me every day can feel my Faith, if I live my days with the outward glow and grace of Faith! They can benefit from me keeping a positive attitude, showing Love, just as Christ did, and Ministering to them, whatever their needs! 

So, to anyone who feels in a season of waiting right now, I say: 
Start Where You Are.  Use What You Have.  
Do What You Can. 

Blessing to you all! 

Isaiah 40:31 "But they who wait for the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings like eagles; they shall run and not be weary; they shall walk and not faint."